Thoughtful Thoughts

Lately I have been trying to figure out how exactly in the world my Mom did everything she did with the 3 of us original kids. It seemed like she had everything lined up and organized perfectly and that plans were always coming together seamlessly. I know, now, that everything was not as it seemed, but looking back on what I remember, she made it seem so easy!
I realize that between the time she raised us, and now, as I raise my own kids, the economy and society itself has changed. When I was a teenager, we had dial up internet, and because it took up use of the phone line we were limited to 15 minutes on the internet at a time.
Cell phones were reserved for those who had well paying jobs or for those who needed to be contacted anywhere day or night.
Laptops were the latest greatest thing at almost 3 inches thick!
A good paying job to support a family was 40 hours a week at $8/hour. 
Gas was $.99/gallon and $20 bought a LOT more than it does now. 

Today:
My children know how to unlock cell phones an IPad’s at the ripe young ages of 2.5 and 1.5 years old.
They instinctively know how to use some technology better than I do sometimes.
The internet is not confined to the desktop computer at home, now it is everywhere and in everything. To be without the internet is almost considered primeval.
If you do not have a cell phone people look at you funny. As if to say “how in the world do you keep in contact with anyone then?”
Gas is almost $5/gallon now
And heaven forbid, if you don’t have a Facebook/Twitter/Instagram. *gasp*

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(This pretty much sums up how I feel most days I compare myself)

As I try to figure out how my Mom did it all, I have to realize that in today’s society you are perceived to be failing at being a Mom if you do not multi-task, while keeping up with the Facebook lives of all of your friends and relatives, become a Pinterest whiz, Tweet every little thing that you and your kids are doing, Instagram every milestone caught on camera, or keep up with who is who in the media, all while scheduling play dates and whipping up a gourmet feast for dinner that is healthy AND delicious AND your family will gobble up! 

WHEW!!! Just typing that was tiring.

I guess what I am trying to get at, is that trying to compare myself to my Mom, while I was growing up, or any other Mom for that fact, is not wise in and of itself. 
2 Corinthians 10:12  

For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

My focus needs to remain on God and what He has called me to do for my own family and to realize that in this time of the “Super Mom” mentality, that I need to make sure that I am not trying to make myself too busy to where I forget what and more importantly WHO I should be teaching my kids about. 

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The Grinch……..

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It is that time of year again, when all the Christmas Movies come out and among them, one of my personal favorites, is Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I love anything Seuss, but this book/movie is one that has always stuck in my mind. Maybe it was the colorful illustrations in the book that I read as a child, or maybe it was the lilting, rhyming words that painted vivid pictures in my head, whatever it was, this story strikes a chord with everyone who is familiar with it…

A little who-girl seeks the meaning behind all the festivities everyone seems to get caught up in, while a Grinch seeks to end all the happiness and festivities. The Grinch comes up with a plan to steal their joy and happiness by taking all of the “things” that represent their happiness, but he does not succeed in stealing their joy or happiness because it was not about the “things” but about the people around them.

While this story is not in any way shape or form about the true reason for Christmas, it does however make us stop and consider what are we really making priorities in this holiday season? Are we making sure that Jesus, who is the true “Reason for the Season” is our first love and priority? Are we making our Husbands, children, family and friends that the Lord has given us a priority? I know that I have not….. I am SO guilty of this.

I get so caught up in the rush of the holidays, that I sometimes miss the Joy of this whole season.  That makes me so mad. It also makes me sad, because i know I let down my Heavenly Father, not to mention my husband and children. This holiday season, while I am trying my best to still celebrate the holiday traditions, I am also trying not to focus so much on them as I am the reason or rather, person, behind Christmas. But there is a Grinch that tries to steal my joy and happiness and time especially during this time of year, it is Satan. 

Satan has tried to steal my time and attention to so many other things that do not really matter, that when it comes down to what does matter, I know I have failed. And that is precisely what he wants us to feel like during this season, defeated failures. There is no reason why we should feel like that because the birth of Jesus Christ is the only reason we have to be Victorious!! 

It still happens though, we get busy and we get distracted. God still leaves us little hints though. I happen to be a very firm believer in little things being signs from a loving Heavenly Father. This last week as I was stressing about how messy my house was and how badly I needed a whole day to clean it, I walked by a pile of word flash cards that my daughter had failed to put away. And would you believe that the 4 most prominent cards on top were ones that read-  make, time, for, me ? Right then I was convicted about how little time I spent with the Lord that morning versus how much time I was wanting to spend to clean my house. Then I was reminded of a blog post I wrote not so long ago about keeping a clean house and also of a devotional for our Ladies Meeting that I gave about spending time with the Lord. 

Ever since that day I have been trying to de-Grinch-ify my life for this holiday season. I am trying to only plan one or two tings that would make some memories for our family, but beyond that I want to focus my heart and mind on the true reason my family and I have to be thankful and happy, the Lord Jesus Christ.

My Momma moment this week has been brought to you by those flash cards that are still scattered across the floor. LOL

 

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

My Mommy Moment happened just this evening, I was playing with Thing 1 and I went to blow a raspberry on her belly when she brought her head forward and, with her chin, nailed my left eye. I currently am sporting a wonderful shiner and I can honestly laugh about it. It would not have been the case last week.

I was a grump last week. I admit it, I could have won the award for grumpiest wife/mommy hands down. But there was nothing anyone could have done to fix it. Because I have Postpartum Depression.

I know there are many women who deal with this particular issue after giving birth. This is just my story of what I am currently dealing with.

After I had Thing 1 in November of 2010, I experienced what I thought was just the Baby Blues. It was the Christmas, which is my favorite time of year, but I was so sad and feeling very detached and isolated even though family was all around me. I was struggling with breastfeeding Thing 1. There were latching issues and other things that were sandbagging our efforts at breast-feeding exclusively. To top it all off, Thing 1 would only nurse in the football hold and refused to eat if there was a nursing cover over her head. So whenever I needed to feed her, which at the time was every 45 minutes to 90 minutes, I would have to excuse myself to another room. I began to resent myself and the baby, pretty much everything in general. When I started to supplement with formula when Thing 1 was about 2 months old, things got a little easier. Then she had Colic. If any of you have ever had a child with Colic, you understand that it takes amounts of patience and compassion that are almost superhuman to deal with your child. Needless to say it did not help the “blues”. Only after I had managed to get through that time, did I realize that what I had actually been experiencing was Postpartum Depression. My hubby encouraged me to talk to someone while I was going through it, but denied that I needed any help. I wish I had.

The last 2 weeks have been rough. Thing 2 is still nursing beautifully and growing wonderfully. She makes me smile every day and I am so proud to be her Mommy. Thing 1 is so smart! She is only 18 months old and she is beginning to speak in sentences. Maybe I am just biased but I think she is very smart for her age.Thing 2 has a different personality than Thing 1, but that is ok.

I on the other hand have not been ok. I have been very negative, and apathetic. I have read that Postpartum Depression can worsen with each consecutive child. That worries me, quite frankly. We are not done having children but I do not know what scares me more, having more kids or having PPD worsen with each one. Hubby has been very sensitive to my needs and at the first sign of being depressed, he told me that I was going to talk to someone whether I liked it or not. LOL I love him so much.

However, I do not love not being happy or at least content with anything. It is a vicious circle that I get into. I hate not being happy, that leads to me not wanting to get out of bed, which leads to things not getting done around the house, which leads to me not being happy again.

I am now currently dealing with the reality that, Yes, I do in fact have Postpartum Depression and that I can do something about it and I do not have to suffer alone or in silence. It is still a daily struggle to find the positive and uplifting moments of the day, but it will become easier. I just have to work toward the goal of focusing on the Positive things and people who God has placed in my life and not the Negative. So to wrap it all up, I will be talking on a regular basis with a good friend who has herself experienced this.

To all the women out there, who have dealt with, or are dealing with this issue, keep your chin up and you will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Have a great week!!!

Hello Mommy Blog Land!

Hello to all in Mommy Blog Land! This is my first try at blogging about a single subject and I hope I can keep up with it! Well let’s hope I can do that betweeen juggling a toddler and an infant and hubby! 😉 I am a 27 year old SAHM and I have 2 beautiful daughters and an amazing Hubby that I have been married to for almost 4 years. ❤

This blog will hopefully keep you entertained, laughing and sometimes crying over stories that are not in any way new to Mommies since time began. The stories though are new to me because I am a young and relatively new Momma. I have 2 lovely daughters ages 18 months and 6 weeks old. As you can tell from the age gap,  life can get pretty interesting around my house regularly……..oh who am I kidding?! Life is interesting with these two EVERY day!!! 😀  Thank you for joining me on this journey we all call Motherhood. It is a wild, crazy and ultimately rewarding ride that I am on and I do not plan to miss out on one crazy and hilarious second of it!!!