It has been far too long….

I have missed blogging.
Throughout my life, journaling and, most recently, blogging has helped me deal with things. Putting things down in  black and white seems to settle any fears, anxieties or confusion I feel about a particular situation and helps me focus on what truly matters. In a way it helps center and ground me. Since having children though, journaling/blogging have been on the back burner. Why? Simply because I did not anticipate just how much one little person (or two in my case) could so utterly consume my time, thoughts and life.

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, I had a schedule and day planner and list for everything. It annoyed me when I was around disorganized and scatterbrained people. If I was packing for a trip, there was a (detailed) list(s) of every single item to be packed. I was completely packed and triple checked my lists no later than 24 hours before scheduled departure time. My house was even cleaned on a schedule. I had 3×5 cards that said exactly what to clean and when. My bills were kept in an organizer and I was never late.
I. Was. Bored.

More specifically, I was feeling unfulfilled. No amount of organization and so-called “control” could make me feel like I was fulfilling my purpose in life. I had a good job, an amazing husband and lots of activities and friends. But nothing could fill that missing piece. That is until Thing 1 came along. And with her arrival, the departure of my organization skills and “control” of my life. For a little while I maintained my “control”, but she had other plans. Colic, mixed with eczema, lactose intolerance and a bumpy start with breastfeeding made for uncontrollable screaming, fussing and tummy issues. ! My life seemed out of control and consumed with trying to solve all of my child’s problems. I had zero control.

In that lack of control, I found a peace that had been missing for awhile. God’s peace. I was never in “control” in the first place. He was, and still is!

I have since realized that I may never be the organized person I once was, but I will take the “chaos” of having my two blessings any day over the unfulfilled and boring “control” that was my life before kids. Besides, God is in control of where my life is going, so why do I have to be?


The Plague


Thing 1 and Thing 2 have been fighting the plague over the last two weeks. Let me tell you, it had not been pretty around our house.

First off, I personally do not handle vomit, of any sort, well. My first reaction when I hear or see someone vomiting is to run the opposite direction.
I can’t do that when it is my little ones!
They need me more than ever when they get sick. Thing 1, who is normally so independent, becomes a literal cling on. Thing 2 on the other hand becomes a sleeping cuddle machine. Which is so nice for me, but when I am sick as well on top of it, things can get crazy.

Ever had moments that you have had to comfort your children so much that you become anti touch? I do, especially when I am sick. I just don’t want anyone to touch me, I just want to sleep all day. But as a Momma, my kiddos come first. That’s the Momma Moment for the week.
~ This Momma Moment is has been brought to you courtesy from this last week of the plague. ~

Money and Kids


Momma Moment of the week: Never leave the toilet lid open or your wallet where they can reach it.


Speaking of wallets, Money is a huge stress point in most marriages and families. There have been numerous studies published linking finances to divorce, health issues and sleep loss.                          Have I been there? Well in reference to sleep loss and health issues, yes. But I am committed to not letting the stress I have towards finances pass to my kids. I read an awesome quote this week from another blog that I follow that I hope you will enjoy and think over too.

“my kids only notice what we don’t have if I point it out. Do they want lots of things? Yes. They do. And as their mom, I naturally want to give them these things. When I have more, I give more (monetarily speaking)……….Having less money to go around forces you to say no sometimes and it forces children to learn that stuff is not always necessary.” ~

Did you notice the last part? Not having money, is not something that needs to be a source of stress for your children. It can be a training ground that helps them develop a healthy attitude toward money.

Growing up I remember very clearly that we never had a lot of money. We made do with what we had though. One of my favorite memories about money and growing up was the time that our whole family helped make parakeet ladders for a local pet supply company that my father was working for at the time. We each had a job that helped produce one parakeet ladder. Even my 6 year old brother at the time had a job. At the end of the week when my father got his paycheck, each of us kids got a little bit of money for helping. That gave my parents an opportunity to explain about work ethic, and doing a job the best way possible, and how to spend and save our money. 

Another memory that I have is one of the best Christmases ever for our family. It was one of the best, not because we had lots of presents, it was the best because we did not have any. My father worked in construction at the time and not had work for a couple months. So my parents took us to Toys ‘R’ Us and said to pick out only 1 toy. We did. And on Christmas Morning we woke up and there was nothing under the tree. In our stockings however, was 1 envelope. We each grabbed our envelope and sat down by the tree. We opened the envelope and inside was a Christmas card that said we love you very much and even though there are no toys under the tree you will receive your gift very soon. And there was a piece of paper covering what we were going to get. I remember the excitement and anticipation of that gift. And today it still stands out as one of my favorite Christmases. 

All of this to say, our children learn how to treat and use money by watching us. The Bible states in Matthew 6:21

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Treasure is not only money, but time and ability as well. If our treasure is laid in the proper places our children will learn the proper way to handle their time, money and abilities as well.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

My Mommy Moment happened just this evening, I was playing with Thing 1 and I went to blow a raspberry on her belly when she brought her head forward and, with her chin, nailed my left eye. I currently am sporting a wonderful shiner and I can honestly laugh about it. It would not have been the case last week.

I was a grump last week. I admit it, I could have won the award for grumpiest wife/mommy hands down. But there was nothing anyone could have done to fix it. Because I have Postpartum Depression.

I know there are many women who deal with this particular issue after giving birth. This is just my story of what I am currently dealing with.

After I had Thing 1 in November of 2010, I experienced what I thought was just the Baby Blues. It was the Christmas, which is my favorite time of year, but I was so sad and feeling very detached and isolated even though family was all around me. I was struggling with breastfeeding Thing 1. There were latching issues and other things that were sandbagging our efforts at breast-feeding exclusively. To top it all off, Thing 1 would only nurse in the football hold and refused to eat if there was a nursing cover over her head. So whenever I needed to feed her, which at the time was every 45 minutes to 90 minutes, I would have to excuse myself to another room. I began to resent myself and the baby, pretty much everything in general. When I started to supplement with formula when Thing 1 was about 2 months old, things got a little easier. Then she had Colic. If any of you have ever had a child with Colic, you understand that it takes amounts of patience and compassion that are almost superhuman to deal with your child. Needless to say it did not help the “blues”. Only after I had managed to get through that time, did I realize that what I had actually been experiencing was Postpartum Depression. My hubby encouraged me to talk to someone while I was going through it, but denied that I needed any help. I wish I had.

The last 2 weeks have been rough. Thing 2 is still nursing beautifully and growing wonderfully. She makes me smile every day and I am so proud to be her Mommy. Thing 1 is so smart! She is only 18 months old and she is beginning to speak in sentences. Maybe I am just biased but I think she is very smart for her age.Thing 2 has a different personality than Thing 1, but that is ok.

I on the other hand have not been ok. I have been very negative, and apathetic. I have read that Postpartum Depression can worsen with each consecutive child. That worries me, quite frankly. We are not done having children but I do not know what scares me more, having more kids or having PPD worsen with each one. Hubby has been very sensitive to my needs and at the first sign of being depressed, he told me that I was going to talk to someone whether I liked it or not. LOL I love him so much.

However, I do not love not being happy or at least content with anything. It is a vicious circle that I get into. I hate not being happy, that leads to me not wanting to get out of bed, which leads to things not getting done around the house, which leads to me not being happy again.

I am now currently dealing with the reality that, Yes, I do in fact have Postpartum Depression and that I can do something about it and I do not have to suffer alone or in silence. It is still a daily struggle to find the positive and uplifting moments of the day, but it will become easier. I just have to work toward the goal of focusing on the Positive things and people who God has placed in my life and not the Negative. So to wrap it all up, I will be talking on a regular basis with a good friend who has herself experienced this.

To all the women out there, who have dealt with, or are dealing with this issue, keep your chin up and you will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Have a great week!!!

Losing my Sanity or just Sleep Deprived

SO I promised that I would try and blog more frequently and I think I have settled on a once a week post. So here it is! Yay! I accomplished one goal this week! Well I accomplished a lot more but I cannot seem to remember them right now and I think that falls under the sleep deprived category.

This week’s Momma Moment I am highlighting is brought to you by something that I believe falls under the category of Losing my Sanity.

Last Saturday we had most of our extended family at our house for a get together to meet our new little bundle of joy. (Or as we will refer to her on here, Thing 2. Yes, we are big Dr. Seuss fans and the Thing 1 and Thing 2 titles are lovingly bestowed on our daughters.) We had decided to have everyone come to our house as my husband and I moved into our new home in August of last year and no one has seen it yet.

I had some apprehension over the decision because we live on a main street and I knew that people would be coming and going in and out of our front screen all night. And Thing 1 is a quick little bugger! So every time I did not have Thing 1 in my line of sight, I panicked. And I mean, heart stopping, cold sweat, flashes of worst case scenario type panic. Luckily I have an awesome cousin and sister that kept an eyeball on her and she did not get anywhere close to the road. All in all the get together was a success.

Fast Forward to Sunday evening at church. I was on Nursery duty with my Pastor’s wife and I was sitting and nursing Thing 2. Well Thing 1 decided to take a page out of the Wrestlemania play book and do a flying pile driver right into Thing 2′s car seat. If you can picture it, in slow motion, I dive for the car seat saying “NO THE BABY IS IN THERE!!!!” ……….. while the baby is attached to me. My Pastor’s Wife lovingly said “well this ought to be an interesting night in Nursery”  -_-

So, do you think this was attributed to Losing my Sanity or just being Sleep Deprived?

Have you ever been there? I would love to hear some more stories like this to validate the fact that it is just sleep deprivation on my part.

Hello Mommy Blog Land!

Hello to all in Mommy Blog Land! This is my first try at blogging about a single subject and I hope I can keep up with it! Well let’s hope I can do that betweeen juggling a toddler and an infant and hubby! 😉 I am a 27 year old SAHM and I have 2 beautiful daughters and an amazing Hubby that I have been married to for almost 4 years. ❤

This blog will hopefully keep you entertained, laughing and sometimes crying over stories that are not in any way new to Mommies since time began. The stories though are new to me because I am a young and relatively new Momma. I have 2 lovely daughters ages 18 months and 6 weeks old. As you can tell from the age gap,  life can get pretty interesting around my house regularly……..oh who am I kidding?! Life is interesting with these two EVERY day!!! 😀  Thank you for joining me on this journey we all call Motherhood. It is a wild, crazy and ultimately rewarding ride that I am on and I do not plan to miss out on one crazy and hilarious second of it!!!